What's James Waiting For...

Baby Names

Girl Names

Parenting

Ronaldo to Real

The true impact of an £80 million move to Spain:

"America's Los Angeles Times: 'The hair-gel industry in north-west England suffered a catastrophic blow on Thursday.'"

More here.

The ducks in the bathroom are not mine

Dear Helen,

Thankyou for your letter concerning pets in my apartment. I understand that having dogs in the apartment is a violation of the agreement due to the comfort and wellbeing of my neighbours and I am currently soundproofing my apartment with egg cartons as I realise my dogs can cause quite a bit of noise. Especially during feeding time when I release live rabbits.

Regards, David.

And the dialogies between these two didn't end there...

The ducks in the bathroom are not mine

Chants of the season

Hooligans. Lager louts...call them what you like, but you can't knock their terrace humour:

"Robinho on the bus goes round and round."
Man City fans celebrate Robinho's shopping trip on the bus

"When the ball hits your head and you sit in row Z, that's Zamora!"
Heard at Bolton v Fulham to the tune of 'That's Amore'.

"There's only one Spanish waiter!"
Middlesbrough fans to Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez after going 2-0 up.

And plenty more here

The Angriest Gnome In The World

In a quiet, idylic little town about 2 hours drive from Neuchatel, Switzerland lives what is very likely the world's angriest and rudest gnome.  He's only got one hand, but he's using it to tell you exactly what he thinks of you...

China in the driving seat over North Korea

North Korea is once more trying to mug the international community - by using nuclear weapons as an 'or else' in its attempts to get more cash.

BBC - Newsnight: Mark Urban: China in the driving seat over North Korea:

Marriage...By Kids

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (Written by kids)

(1) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you
like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she
should keep the chips and dip coming.
- Alan, age 10

(2) No person really decides before they grow up who they're going
to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out
later who you're stuck with.
- Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
(1) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person
FOREVER by then.
- Camille, age 10

(2) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get
married.
- Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

(1) You might have to guess, based on whether
they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MUM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
(1) Both don't want any more kids.
- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
(1) Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to
know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long
enough.
- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)
(2) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that
usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
- Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

(1) I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the
newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

(1) When they're rich. (wise child)
- Pam, age 7

(2) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to
mess with that.
- Curt, age 7
(3) The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should
marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

(1) It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need
someone to clean up after them.
- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

(1) There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favourite is........

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

(1) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a
truck.
- Ricky, age 10